2016 was a crazy year. I worked and lived in three different states. I had a bit of breakdown near the end. All of the changes suddenly caught up to me, and I was starting to hate where I was. I couldn’t even look out my window. And the crazy thing is, we have an amazing view. A view so grand, our apartment charges us extra for it.
But it’s true. I couldn’t look. Not only that, I could hardly eat. Everything sounded and tasted gross. All I wanted at the end of the day was to go to bed so I could close my eyes. And I’ve never experienced such feelings in my whole life.
One afternoon, I started to completely unravel. I grabbed my Bible and clutched it to my chest and read out loud, through tears, Psalm 23. I read it and read it, but didn’t feel any different. I was confused and devastated. Why wasn’t it working? Why wasn’t I better?
During that time, I got flowers from my dad and grandma. It was amazing how much that cheered me up. I heard words of encouragement which also helped. One day, I started listening to Christian authors and speakers. I started reading some of their books. They were so uplifting, I found myself crying at times.
I found out about a 30 minutes a day for 30 days Bible challenge put out by Joyce Meyer. I decided to try it.
For the first few days, a lot of what I studied was about God’s word and how it is our guide. While I was reading and writing down notes about what I was learning, I felt something so clearly… The Bible is God’s word. It’s a guide through this life. Any issue I was dealing with…there was something in the Bible I could look to. It seemed too obvious, but it hit me over the head like a hammer.
Growing up, I never studied the Bible much. In fact, most of the verses I knew were through songs I heard on the radio. The 30 day challenge suddenly became a huge part of my morning. I craved that time. Right now, I’m working through Psalm 119. One part that stood out for me is when the psalmist says they rejoice in the word of God as one rejoices in riches. And that’s just it… God’s word is life. There are answers in there. God can use it, among many other things, to speak to us. Honestly, I would much rather have God’s word in my life than all the treasures of this life. All of this is temporary. None of it will matter after this world falls away.
It may sound silly, but spending time studying the Bible has made me increasingly aware of my actions. And I’m thankful for it. I was aware before, but I feel like I’m learning more and feeling convicted, in a good way, about ways I can continue to improve.
I feel so much better than I did a few months ago. I look out my window with love in my heart, knowing no matter what, God is in control. He placed me in a specific place for a reason. No matter where you are right now, give it your all. Give God your all. Watch what it can do for you.