Reflection: Plus One, Singles

It’s so true. There’s always been an invisible pressure to get married if you’re single in church world. Because if you’re single, you’re somehow wrong. Two is better than one. Man isn’t meant to be alone, etc.

Even when I was in high school, I felt like everyone in our youth group was dating. Our leader had gotten married very young. Everyone seemed to yearn to be like them. They didn’t want to be the odd one out.

Outside of church world, I think people believe the idea of being single is awesome. No strings attached. You can do whatever you want. You don’t have to be faithful. At least, that’s what the world seems to say.

None of this is good. Doing whatever you want with whoever you want isn’t ok. Sex outside of marriage is a sin as it says in the Bible. Being single doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. It’s just as Jason was saying in his sermon. God is the only person who can complete us. No human is going to be able to do that. It’s important to follow Jesus closely no matter what our relationship status is. Plus One, Singles

A lot of the people I knew back in Wisconsin got married very young. Everyone has a different idea of what “very young” is. I think closer to 30 is the average age most people get married now. Something like that. People used to tell me they didn’t want to wait to get married because sex was too important to them. I’ll be honest – I thought that was silly. All I could think was sex wasn’t a good enough reason to marry someone. Sex isn’t everything. And marriage is about way more than sex. I think most married people would agree when I say marriage is much more complex. That’s why I always thought “it is better to marry than to burn with passion” was strange. But God hates sexual sin. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to get married to be able to experience sexual intimacy with someone. And for the people who told me they didn’t want to wait, they certainly didn’t tell me it was the only reason they wanted to get married. What’s sinful is acting on desires that are wrong outside of marriage.

I think we all fall into a trap of believing another person, job, experience, etc. is what will finally fill us up. It doesn’t matter if you’re single, married, divorced, have a huge family or a small family… I think we’re always chasing something we think will make us feel complete. It could be sex, money, power, status… but whatever it is, we chase it. We make it our everything. We devote ourselves, sometimes obsessively, to getting it. God falls back. We don’t pursue him in the same way. I think it’s easy to lie to ourselves and say we are, and if not that, believing God wants us to achieve that other thing because it’ll make us happy. And God wouldn’t want us to not have that thing we desperately want…

Do we desperately want God? Are we pursing him? Do we believe he can complete us? Fill our every need? If you aren’t sure or you’ve never sought a relationship with God, I urge you to try it. Just try it. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, but it will be the richest and best part of you. Nothing satisfies the way God does. Nothing compares to his love, mercy and kindness.

Enjoy whatever season of life you’re in. Believe God has a plan for your life, because he does! Live in a way pleasing to God. Relationship status isn’t a reason to abandon this.

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